Why my next door neighbor is unpleasant and unlikeable.

Unfortunately for us humans, there are many reasons why our fellow neighbors might think our presence incredibly unpleasant or aggravating. It's our nature to be conflicted with each other, and an unfortunate occurrence when we find ourselves at odds with our symbiotic street-sharer's. Ideally, neighbors should be our friends, and do friendly things like waving, letting us know when our pets escape, and perhaps even mow our lawns while we're on vacation. They should enjoy barbecues, honk their horns, and say spiffy things like, "Howdy Doody Neighbor!". However, cruel reality can be one misplaced trash can away. There are some people out there who have the uncanny ability to defy any moral law associated with being a good human and therefore, a good neighbor. It is sad that we all know, to some degree, a bad neighbor. The neighbor who makes you want to dive into the rose bush, feign a heat-stroke, or perhaps commit seppuku with a garden spade. When I find myself in such a distressed mind-set as to ponder such grievances, I am almost always reminded of my own neighbor, who we shall call Mr. Uncool.

Mr. Uncool is a relatively old man, one who seems to have spent much of his life in the same grouchy state I find him in nearly every day now. I am unsure of his previous profession, though I am sure in college he chose "Making Children Cry" as his career path. Another thing I don't know about Mr. Uncool is his previous marital status, or if it existed at all. I could understand some of his rudeness and emotional skulduggery if he has had thirteen wives leave him, but from where i stand now, I would doubt him ever having any form of mate or friend in the first place, besides evil, that is. On top of his utterly miserable existence up to this point, I am fairly certain Mr. Uncool has taken a fancy to sacrificing small animals such as squirrels, rabbits, cats, dogs, and unattended children to his god of Un-brotherly Hatred. More than once I have had to ward Mr. Uncool off of my own property as he hunts for my dog and cat. I usually use sprinkles, Disney movies, or home-cooked meals to scare him away. It used to work... Now I'm afraid Mr. Uncool has reached such a high level of unpleasantry, of unadulterated evil, of scheming malevolence, that there is little I can do to guard my household from his warted and gnarled hands. One thing is for certain though, even as Mr. Uncool overwhelms the neighborhood with malicious tom foolery, I will be finding him increasingly unpleasant and equally unlikeable.

(Mr. Uncool doesn't exist)

What happened when the Red Ship crashed into the Blue Ship?

...The crews were both marooned...